A Pain in the AZ!: Bloog and Tess's Excellent Adventure

Episode 1: My New Roommate

I loved living with Schunt. We had some great times for sure. As far as roommates go, he was a pretty great one. Living with Stefan and Tycy has been a new adventure, and of course I mean that in the best way. My new roommate is as cute as they come, and I love him to pieces. Who wouldn’t want to share a room with a 18 month old baby?...

I am a pansy when it comes to scary movies/shows or anything even remotely close to being scary. Of course, I get the appropriate thrill from being terrified. It’s the months afterward when I have to go bed that the troubles really come. What does this have to do with the roommate situation? Allow me to enlighten you. Emery cries in his sleep. At those times, I generally wake up but promptly go back to sleep knowing that he will do the same shortly. Other times though, things don’t go so smoothly. It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes the sweetest guy gets up in the night and cries and cries until I console him and lay him back down. There’s nothing scary about that right? Well here’s the thing, he cries until I get up. As soon as I’m out of bed, he just sits there with a blank and, quite frankly, really creepy look on his face. He’s like a zombie baby, and it fills my heart with terror every time. In the back of my mind I always feel like he’s going to turn into one of those supernatural creatures from my scary shows and attack me with lightning speed and sharp, tiny, baby fangs. I’ve already told you that I’m a pansy. Still I feel like if you saw him with that blank dead look on his face in the dead of night that you might be a tad frightened too.

There are certain occasions when Bloog’s and my bedroom door isn’t closed all day. When it’s time for bed on those nights there is usually a certain crunchiness to my sheets. This is generally due to the large amount of crushed saltines scattered under, in, and over my blankets. Not to mention the carpet of saltines on the bedroom floor. There was also the time when I got into bed only to find it soaking wet. Upon further inspection I found an empty (though I’m sure it was previously full) sippy cup. I’m sure that won’t be happening again though, because I talked to my tiny roommate about it. We’ve set some boundaries. I said to him, “Emery, no crushing crackers and certainly no food or drink in Auntie Tess’s bed.” He smiled, laughed, and then ran… so I’m sure he understood. The crackers found in subsequent nights were probably left there by someone else, because Bloog and I have an understanding.

I wake up relatively early to various different baby noises. Usually I pretend that I'm not awake in the hopes that the smallest guy will follow suit. Now, let me make one thing clear. I am in no way complaining about my tiny roommate. What other alarm clock is more excited to see you in the morning than mine. One look at that sweet little baby and all thoughts about creepy eyes, sleep deprivation, and crumby sheets evaporate. Take a look at these pictures, and feel free to let me know if you've ever seen a cuter roommate. Good luck! (Possible side effects include: uncontrollable squealing accompanied by baby talk, clenching of toes and teeth, and exclamations of "he's so cute!")